Some random thoughts....that happen to come up..

The last few days were just your average days I guess you could say. The other day I posted again for the first time since 2010. It felt amazing to be able to put everything in writing again. For so long, things have been bottled up and they still are. Over the past few days, some things have occurred that have really bothered me. Strictly speaking, this has been in my professional career however the fact that it could have really affected my personal life, really bothers me. I am new with this company that I am working for and so far, I have really enjoyed the experience. My bosses are impressed and happy with my skill level and what I can bring to the table. I have a lot of respect for most of them and until this situation took place, I had respect for all of them. Last week, one of my managers called me late in the evening and blindsided me. Now this wasn't just a blindsided offer but it was done in a shady way. I have ambitions to promote within the company and I feel that

Well, it has been about 8 years since I last posted to this blog. I spent the day reading my old posts and deleting quite a bit. The last 8 years has been a roller coaster for sure with a lot of changes and the last few days, I have been reflecting on those quite a bit. In the last 8 years, I have changed jobs a few times, moved to different cities, gotten married but what hasn't changed, is my inner struggles to be content. Now people ask me all the time if I am happy or if I am content with life and I lie and say yes. The deep truth is, I am not content. Because I am not content, I am also not truly happy. Now, when I say I am not content, I do not mean that to look upon my marriage or with those in my life. When I say I am not content, I mean with myself. It wasn't until recently that I finally started to look deep inside myself and start to figure out who I really am. I struggle with that fact that I am no longer happy with being in public safety. I struggle with my sex