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Another day, another dollar... or fifty cents...

The last few days were just your average days I guess you could say. The other day I posted again for the first time since 2010. It felt amazing to be able to put everything in writing again. For so long, things have been bottled up and they still are. Over the past few days, some things have occurred that have really bothered me. Strictly speaking, this has been in my professional career however the fact that it could have really affected my personal life, really bothers me. I am new with this company that I am working for and so far, I have really enjoyed the experience. My bosses are impressed and happy with my skill level and what I can bring to the table. I have a lot of respect for most of them and until this situation took place, I had respect for all of them. Last week, one of my managers called me late in the evening and blindsided me. Now this wasn't just a blindsided offer but it was done in a shady way. I have ambitions to promote within the company and I feel that ...
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Welcome Back

Well, it has been about 8 years since I last posted to this blog. I spent the day reading my old posts and deleting quite a bit. The last 8 years has been a roller coaster for sure with a lot of changes and the last few days, I have been reflecting on those quite a bit. In the last 8 years, I have changed jobs a few times, moved to different cities, gotten married but what hasn't changed, is my inner struggles to be content. Now people ask me all the time if I am happy or if I am content with life and I lie and say yes. The deep truth is, I am not content. Because I am not content, I am also not truly happy. Now, when I say I am not content, I do not mean that to look upon my marriage or with those in my life. When I say I am not content, I mean with myself. It wasn't until recently that I finally started to look deep inside myself and start to figure out who I really am. I struggle with that fact that I am no longer happy with being in public safety. I struggle with my sex...
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a little to add for It gets better...

" Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Nelson Mandela A lot of people are sharing their coming out story and I figured it was time to share mine. A lot of people who know me do not know this story, even some of my family do not understand truly what happened. I remind everyone reading the below passage that if you do not like what you have read or feel like you would like to talk more or are having trouble coming out, please feel fr...
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An over night in the metro boston area in EMS..

Well last night I worked an overnight, and well it was an exciting one to say the least. The night started off easy. A Pt that happened to have a drug addiction fresh out of detox, well decided to go out and buy some more. His girlfriend's dealer was not a fan of this man, and "sucker" punched him and broke his jaw. While at the trauma center, we noticed that it was crazy night there so we dumped the pt off and left before we became some of the action. After that I had a little bit of down time.. Some interesting calls took place while in the city, a Car into a house (pt wasn't doing so hot), some drunks.. BUT WHATS NEW RIGHT??? So over the next few hours, I did a few more calls...But while back at the trauma center mentioned above, a Section (crazy person that is under protection of a hospital) decided that they no longer wanted to be a guest and walked right out the ambulance bay doors. A few seconds later, the nurse comes out screaming for someone to go get ...
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Dear dispatch.....

Ahh, in EMS, we all know who we like to hate the most even though they really aren't the bad guys. Its our wonderful DISPATCH... This evening, I was trying to take a nap before my overnight shift on a friday in the metro boston area....(we all know what that brings.) I was just about asleep after trying for several hours when one of the dispatchers calls me.. this is our convo...(no lie) D will be for dispatch, S for me... RING RING!!!! s- hello? d- put your uniform on... s- huh hello? d- put your uniform on.. we need you for the overnight.. s- yeah i am already on the overnight.. i am in at 11.. d- how the fuck are you available and already working tonight? s- idk, how the fuck did you miss me on the roster for tonight? d- hold on let me look this up..........hmm i see your on, want to come in now? s- who's the shift with.. you know me, im picky about my overnight partners.. d- with tonya..... s- nope..see you at 11.. CLICK hahahahaha Now come on... Please please PLEASE use ...
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Coming Out

So today, I don't know what brought it on, but I spent the day thinking about my coming out experience. I have heard a lot of peoples stories, some good, some bad but all of them different. I have also learned that if I was to get a chance to do it over again, I wouldn't. So it starts my sophomore year of high school. It was lunch time and I was sitting in the same hall with the same group of friends I had been sitting with for the last year and a half or so.. I was sitting next to my friend melissa. I nudged her and said "hey melissa, I think I'm gay..." Her reaction was PRICELESS "OMG ARE YOU REALLY!?!?!?! THATS AWESOME!!!" so that was a good start right?? I like to think so. So over the new few days I started to tell more and more people. Some of my friends took it well, others didn't.. Being in high school was hard since things like this, well spread like a wildfire.. So more and more people started knowing and asking. Before long the s...
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